It is amazing how one of the biggest moments of your life can come down to one written letter. A letter that you do not know how to write. Have you ever thought SO many ‘thoughts’ that you felt your mind would explode? I experience this every day but when that pen hits the paper, it all stops.
My mind isn’t able to formulate the words that my heart wants to share. The depths are far too deep. The feelings so overwhelmingly powerful yet the words…. they just don’t come. The doubts try to creep in through the crevices of my heart. My heart is so afraid of rejection. Rejection that I spent my whole life trying to overcome.
How do you convey in one letter the utter depths of your heart? How do you convey every tear drop, every morsel of emotion you’ve ever felt? How do you put into words the LOVE that beats through your veins for a person?
While I certainly do not have these answers, I know this, God does. I trust Him. I won’t allow fear to cripple my walk. I will not allow doubt to infiltrate my life. I will stand strong in the midst of one of the most important times of my life and pray for the words to come pouring out of me. When I stand in the fire, I will not be overcome.
I think of being that ‘little’ girl in a big world and having no idea what would lie ahead. It was Gods undeniable favor, mercy and GRACE that gave me strength to get through one of the most difficult trials of my life. Even when I did not realize that it was The Lords strength, it still was.
The only difference between then and NOW is that I didn’t know where my strength was coming from then. Now, I DO. I am reminded of Philippians 4:13 that says “I can do ALL things through Him who gives me strength”
It is not on my own strength that I will pen out the most important letter of my life, it is on His strength. Until then, I will let Him stretch me, grow me and strengthen me. He makes beauty from my ashes. I will get on my knees and call his name. I will cry out to The One who holds this Earth in the palm of His hands. The One who knitted me in my Mothers womb and knitted her in mine. The One who knew all of our days before one of them ever came to pass.
Until then, I will wait and there will come a day where I will write ‘The Letter’ and the words will flow from my heart like water from a spring.