How many times in life have you felt abandoned, sad, discouraged or unloved? Are you feeling this way right now, in this very moment? This is for YOU.
So many times in my life, I was left searching for so many things to fill the hole in my heart. I had so much anger, frustration & pent up ‘chronic discouragement’ because I felt like I was unloved. I was always searching for a ‘deeper love’ and I had NO CLUE what that looked like. After all, those that I cared most about, hurt me the deepest. I had issues with trusting people or allowing people in closer than arms length. I had a thick smog of abandonment that always seemed to hover above me and it was affecting every decision I made in my life.
I was sexually, physically and emotionally abused all by the ripe young age of 18. I had a child out of wedlock and hid my pregnancy until I aged out of my last foster home. Just after turning 18, I gave birth to the most lovely little girl I have ever laid eyes on. This was the only time I ever felt love so great within me that I made the decision to give her up so she could experience more than I had. The only love I had ever really come close to experiencing was the most excruciating pain of my life, all at the same time. Shortly after, I began to engage in abusive relationships and my VALUE of myself was nothing more than a dwindling ember.
I had no clue what true, unconditional love was. I searched for it in the world, in people, in friends and in relationships. I searched high and I searched low but never found what it was that I was looking for. Fast forward through my years of overcoming the “worldly” way. I got married in 2007 and despite knowing that I was loved by my hubby, it STILL was not the love that I so deeply craved. I was surprised to find that even my MARRIAGE was not satisfying this unquenchable thirst within me. In fact, the pain of my past led me to hurt the one person God gave me in the worst, most painful way. I had no clue how to love.. or to be loved.
You see, we all share the common desire to love and to be loved. Yet, the mess of our lives, the hurts we endure and the scars of our past leave us always searching, searching, searching. We form our lives based on lies and we live life just coasting by.
This my friend, is why I am writing this to you. This is a love letter to you that unlocks the door to the richest, deepest, most unconditional love you will ever experience.
After hurting my husband so deeply, I remember coming home one evening, all alone and just falling to my knees in the living room. I literally wailed and sobbed on the floor crying out to God. “If you are real, show me! If you are real, HELP ME! I need you!” I saw my life just flash before my eyes and I cried what seemed like YEARS of pain just waiting to gush out of me. I cried for all of the years of pain and hurt that I just “survived”. I cried for each and every scar that night.
As I began to try my best to pick up the pieces in my marriage, I started to experience answered prayers from that night of screaming out to God. He showed up in my life through people that began to help me rebuild. Two of my Spiritual Mentors and friends who had walked through some of the same things began to help me repair my life on the foundation of Christ and not the twisted, distorted way I was taught.
I began to focus on repairing my marriage not by focusing on ‘us’ but rather all of the mess I had lived through. I began to face (one by one) the trauma, pain and abandonment of my past. I began to realize that I had no clue how to love or to be loved. I had to learn how to ‘receive’ the greatest love I would ever know.
When I began to submit myself and ALL of my mess to Christ, this is when my whole entire world would change. When I heard the message of ‘The Cross’ I began to realize that THIS was the thing I had searched for high and low my entire life. It was the LOVE that would cover every single thing I had ever experienced. It was the love that would repair my marriage and give us a deeper relationship that I ever could have imagined. It was THE LOVE that led me to truly forgiving those who had caused my deepest pain, more importantly, it was the love that would allow me to forgive myself.
You see, I left a trail of mess behind me because I was walking through life empty. SO empty. Just longing to experience truth.
Well friends, Christ is it. He is the TRUTH and the LOVE that you are searching for. His love and grace are sufficient for you. Christ desires to lift your heavy burdens. You do not have to walk this road alone. You can experience the most amazing love and move forward healed and whole.
You no longer have to be defined by your past. You are loved with an AGAPE love. The most pure, unadulterated, wholesome love you can imagine.
Please, if you have not clicked the link above to watch the video, do so. There is a message for you here.
If you have questions or want to know more about accepting Christ as your personal Lord and Savior, if you want to experience what He has planned for YOU (yes, you!) then reach out to me. I would love to introduce you to the greatest LOVE you will ever know.
God Bless you and your precious valuable life,